When Normal Wasn't Good Enough

Sometimes things that happened in my past consume my day… 

Sometimes they remind me of all the times I failed & how "I'll never succeed." I've been telling myself that my whole life. 

I went to a counselor & they told me I was a victim.

I went to a psychiatrist & they told me I had learning disabilities.

I went to an academic counselor & they told me that I'd never get into a good college.

I went to an endocrinologist & they told me that before long, I'd have diabetes.

I decided to have bariatric surgery but they told me I was "too depressed" to handle the emotional side effects.

They told me to wait 6 months...
I don't want to wait 6 months. I want to change now. 

I don't want to be normal anymore. 

I wake up every morning and feel the air outside. I burn my toast, & rejoice that at least I have burnt toast. I went out into the world & took every step, with purpose. Sometimes I have to hush all the negative voices that mock me in the back of my mind. I go to CrossFit for me. I go to make every movement & every moment count. 

I refuse to be normal. I choose to be something more.