I Get Knocked Down...

Wow, where do I even begin? I know it's been awhile since I blogged and I have several in the works. But just for today I'm going back to my original method... Writing how I feel, when I feel it.

I had the most exciting weekend I've had in a long time. A weekend filled with finding out opportunities regarding school, opportunities regarding work, and spending time with my awesome boyfriend. What more can I ask for? Everything seemed to be going right. To top it all off, I have lost 98lbs and THIS was going to be the week I hit 100. 

For awhile, it's felt like I've been a fish swimming upstream. Things were going right but it was never easy. For once, it felt like I was going with the flow, and everything was perfect. 

I went into today feeling positive, feeling blessed, and being so aware of God's love and presence in my life. I started my day off with a PT with Coach AJ. I showed up with guns blazing, ready to burn calories and kill some fat! We started off on the battle ropes, not my favorite, and certainly a good workout. He then pointed me in the direction of the stair master, but unfortunately someone was on it. I was left doing the thing I dread most.... DEAD MILLS. 

For those who don't know, dead mill is an activity you do on a turned off treadmill where you lean into the handles and sprint, using only your power to move the treadmill. It's hard to explain, but you get the picture. These get my heart rate high and if you work hard enough, you're certain to get to taste your breakfast a second time. (At least in my case). But today I plowed through this activity with vengeance. I was going to hit the 100lbs mark this week if it's the last thing I did.

Exhausted from this, I jumped off the treadmill, so happy to be done with that portion of the workout. Unfortunately, I didn't see the dumbbells on the ground behind the treadmill next to me. My left foot landed on them, including all of my weight, and I fell face first into the ground. I immediately burst into tears. A combination of exhaustion, pain, and embarrassment, I couldn't even handle my emotions. 

Coaches and friends rushed to my side. Chef AJ immediately propped my leg up on his knee and tied my shoe tighter. AJ ran to get a bag of ice. Whitney was on the phone with 911. Jill, another client, rushed to my side to hold my hand. Erica was there to keep me in good spirits. 

It was a humbling moment. All of my hard work had come crashing down, literally. But not once did I not feel cared for. After I calmed down, adrenaline kept me in a positive mood. I was able to cut up with the handsome firefighters and rescue team that took me away. They put some morphine in me on the way to the hospital, I was loopy and although I knew it could be serious, I was okay. (Even when the ambulance driver hit a curb and I almost flipped off the stretcher!)

Thankfully after hours of sitting in the ER, the doctor came to me and let me know it was just a really bad sprain. I was so thankful and blessed that that's all it was.  I was happy. I was okay.

Now, almost 12 hours later, I'd be lying if I said I have stayed positive the whole day. As the meds wore off, the pain became excruciating. I'm on crutches, I cry every time I have to get up and go to the bathroom, and honestly I've just felt kind of helpless. That's a feeling I hate. I want to be able to do things for myself, and not ask for help.

But as the immediate storm passes, I know that God would never give me something I can't handle. As Andrew keeps reminding me, you can't find a rainbow without a little rain. 

I know this is a lengthy post, but I'm in good spirits and I know I can do this. I still have every intention of hitting the 100 pound mark. I am happy, and I am looking at all the things I can do. Sure, I can make a long list of things I'm not able to do right now... But guess what? There's another list of things I CAN do. With eating right, working with my coaches, I will push on. I will keep fighting. I will get this done. 

If I can leave you with one thing, it's that injuries happen. I know you have pains and limitations. I know it hurts. I know it's hard. But we can do this. Focus on the good and forget the bad. As the Live In Fitness life coach Jenny says, the difference between those who succeed and those who don't is your mindset. 

I want to thank those of you who sent me thoughtful prayers and text messages. Not a single one went unnoticed or unappreciated. 

I get knocked down.... But I get up again!