The Power of Can't

Today was the first day I skipped CrossFit when there was a class that I could have attended. I had the worst migraine at work & the fact that the WOD involved pull-ups, overhead squats, & kettle-bell swings, didn't help the appeal of going. Those may seriously be my 3 least favorite things in all of CrossFit. I knew the combination of them all would easily turn into me being frustrated, upset, and disappointed. Anyone who has interacted closely with me or even if you've kept up with these blogs, could agree that I can be really hard on myself.

Something Sean said to me last week has really been engrained in my mind. He asked me to start asking what I can do in place of an activity, rather than just saying I can't do it. Recently I've been in a "can't slump." I call it that because my first month and a half of CrossFit I had so much drive and excitement. Don't get me wrong, I'm still high on CrossFit but perhaps now I'm a little too high. There are so many things I want to be able to do but I can't do them. All of the things are so cool and it's not like I'll be able to do them anytime soon. Forgive me for venting, but this is something I have yet to overcome. For instance, handstands. Even if I build tons of muscle, it will take me losing a lot of weight before I'm even close to doing one. It frustrates me that I have to scale EVERYTHING because there is nothing I want more than to be able to do it all.

Initially it was frustrating to hear Sean tell me to stop saying "can't," because honestly.... I can't do a handstand push up. Haha. But I think the point he's trying to make is rather than focusing on what I can't do, focus on what I can.

I have to become satisfied with what I CAN do today. It may not be what I'm satisfied with a year from now, but for now it's what I can do. Ultimately, my strength will not come from doing what I can, but conquering what I cannot. 

As upsetting as it is to know all the things I can't do, I look back on all the things I couldn't do 60 days ago. 

- At my first training session with Doc, I could barely do 7 sit-ups. Last week, I did 75 like it was nothing.

- On my first day of CrossFit, I thought jumping pull ups were hard. Now, I'm doing assisted pull-ups.

- Two months ago, I could barely run 20 seconds. Now, I can almost run a mile without stopping. 

- 3 weeks ago, I could barely swim. Now, I can... kind of swim.

I may not be able to do everything now, but believe me, doing all of the things I can do well, will get me where I'm going. One day I'll be able to do so much more. I CAN DO THIS.