Today has been emotional to say the least. I'm
not sure if it's just one of those days, if it's from having major lack of
sleep, or if God has really moved me to go out of my way & notice the
unnoticeable. I got to work, almost late, and was on the go from the minute I
got in the door. I waited on all sorts of people today.
The first woman that came in the store was old,
very old. She could hardly hear & just wanted some ham slices. She reminded
me of my grandmother who seriously does love ham, like a lot. She was with her
son (who was also old). She was the sweetest thing, but he was just a jerk to
her. He stood outside smoking a cigarette, and she slowly made her way with her
walker to offer him a sandwich, he yelled at her. When I brought out the slices,
he had come in to see what was taking so long, she offered to buy him some
cookies, & he yelled at her again. I just wanted to come out from behind
the counter & slap the man.
I'm a people watcher and usually I excuse
people's bad behavior with, "I don't know what they're going
through", but today I witnessed so many events that made me think,
"no matter what you're going through, you should always remember to be
nice to people."
Another crazy thing happened, I went to Meijer
because we were out of celery at work, and there was an older man that had two
mentally handicap daughters, they all smelled of smoke, and were dressed in
pajamas. Everyone was looking at them like they were crazy, but it almost
brought tears to my eyes. What that man must experience in his every day life,
how hard some days must be.
This whole journey has me asking myself daily,
will I ever get to my goal weight? Will I ever go to the doctor & not
expect bad news? I make my problems seem so large, I feel like my life couldn't
get any worse because I let my weight dictate how I do everything. But the reality
of it is, I'm lucky. Losing weight is hard, it's brutal. But at least I can
afford to go to CrossFit. At least I have awesome people who are helping me. At
least I have parents to support me.
That's not all I learned today
though, sometimes you learn the strangest lessons from the most
unexpected people. Tonight I had the pleasure
of baby-sitting three girls, all with very strong personalities. The
youngest (age 3) had such a hard time going to sleep. She cried & cried,
made up songs about missing her mom to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little
Star which were so depressing, yet so adorable. Then when we were talking
before bedtime, she gave me a run down about her whole family. Somewhere in
that train of thought she said "Sometimes I just want my dad to
leave!" (mainly because she was jealous of all the time he spends with her
mom) but then went on to say every single thing she loved about him.
Well, I feel your pain kid. Me
& my dad butt heads a lot because we're so much alike but the reality of it
all is, I'd be nowhere without him. We say things we don't mean to each other,
but I always know it'll be water under the bridge by night time.
So thanks pops, you're seriously my
best friend, biggest fan (except maybe mom), & I love you with all my heart.
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