An Uphill Battle

Last time I posted I felt like I was on top of the world. The days were long and hard but everything was going right. I was doing new things, I was experiencing every little piece the program had to offer, and I was losing the weight.

It wasn't until the middle of week 3 that it hit me. This will ALWAYS be hard. Weight will always be an issue for me. And I will be here at least three more months.

Day in and day out we work out. Our coaches tell us when to be at meals and when to go to classes. And to be 100% honest, it is frustrating and it is exhausting.

I found it upsetting that I couldn't keep the momentum I had in the first two weeks. It's like my mind wants to keep moving, but my body can't always keep up.

A few days ago, I decided enough is enough. I HAVE to give this everything I have. Right now, this is my job. It's my job to show up and be an athlete. I look back on my days at CrossFit and think about the fun I found in working out and made a promise to myself that I would try to find that passion again.

I want to be here more than anything. I want to be healthy. I want to lose weight. I want to fit on roller coasters. Go on dates with cute guys. Ride on airplanes without seatbelt extenders. Go up the stairs without being out of breath. These are the things I've begun to remind myself of every. single. day.

So I had to come up with a game plan. How to get to my goals and still keep a piece of mind. Today I spoke with Coach AJ, who I trust 100% to tell me how I'm doing along the way. I just needed to express how much I want to be here and figure out how to optimize each week and stay healthy.

He was so encouraging and really helped me realize that I can get so much out of this program. He recommended me really pushing hard Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, while taking it a little easier on Tuesday and Thursday. So that is what I HAVE to do to stay in this for the long haul. The thing I appreciated the most out of our conversation was him telling me that he'd let me know when I'm not working to my full potential, because that is the kind of accountability I need! Some days it's easy to go through the motions and not be mentally present.

The last week and a half have made me realize this is an uphill battle, each day is going to be hard, and I need to constantly remind myself what I want out of this experience.

I'm surrounded by a huge support system here at Live In Fitness and I know I can do this. I'm sure of one thing, I'm in it to win it!!! (Or lose it)

Thanks for sticking with me through thick and thin. Over 100 posts and you're still with me! When everything seems like an uphill battle, think of the view from the top!!!
- E