Redefine Winning

Photo Credit: Lex Artis

For those of you who don't know, I'll be competing in the 2014 Michigan Barbell Classic on Saturday. A month ago I was excited, very excited. Today, I'm nothing but nerves!

Initially I signed up for this competition because I love to lift. It's my passion and that's no news to you! After encouragement from my friend Ace over at Eat.Pray.WOD. & my former coach Sean, I knew it was something I wanted in on.

I'm a competitor. I know the quotes about "only worrying about beating your own time," but honestly I've never bought into that. I'm all about getting better, but I'm also about striving to become THE best. I fully understand that I probably will never get there, but I'll never stop trying. I'm losing weight rapidly and my goal is to maintain my strength. If I can do both, I'm confident that I can do great things.

This competition is a whole different situation. On paper, I'm strong, very strong. But it is literally impossible for me to win. Take all of my one rep maxes, they look great, but divide them by my weight (315), not so great. The scoring at this competition will be pound for pound.
ex. If I got a 350 pound deadlift, it would be divided by 315 and my score for that event would be 1.11

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with the scoring of the event. In fact, in the long run, it makes it fair. For me, I'm at a pretty big disadvantage because (in my opinion) all of my excess weight does not account for all of my strength.

What does this mean for me? 
It means that I have to redefine winning, at least for this weekend. It means that I have to decide what I want out of THIS competition.

I want to feel strong. To feel empowered. I want to do my best. I want to not be ashamed of my weight, even if people are wondering why I'm there. I want to show off all of my hard work from the last two months. I want to recognize my limits (so my knees don't fall apart). I want to make my coach proud. I want to PR on at least one thing. I want to have the highest lift on something.

I recognize that all of that may not happen, and I may be way out of my league, but winning can look like a lot of things. So I know, no matter what, this weekend, I'm going to win.

Plus, I'm super psyched to see my friends from CrossFit 734. It should be a great weekend!!!