Failure...

So today's WOD sucked. Saying it was a rough one is an extreme understatement. Lifting is the only part of CrossFit where I find complete and total confidence, and today my body just wasn't having it.

I'm going to complain here for a good 5 seconds....
My knee STILL hurts.
My left ankle is swollen.
I have a pulled calf muscle.
My neck is bruised.
And worst of all, my lower back feels like someone slugged me with a bat.

I'm in so much pain that getting off the couch is seriously a looooong process.

On the bright side, I handled the WOD like a beast. We did a 1500m row followed by 5 rounds of:

15 slam balls (20lbs)
7 front squats (103 lbs)

Sounds easy? I thought so too... but I was so so so terribly wrong. The hardest part of the whole thing was getting that 103 pounds up to my front rack position. Especially by the last round. I did it so of course I felt awesome... but my body had reached total exhaustion.

After ALMOST puking, catching my breath, changing my shoes, I made my way to do the strength portion of the WOD. This was 5 sets of 2 back squats. The goal was to find my 2 rep max. My 1 rep max is 220 pounds so coach Mike (he's new & AWESOME) told me I should aim to be around 185 lbs. Having the cocky, "I'm awesome at lifting" mindset, I thought it'd be a piece of cake. In fact, I had fully intended on passing 185.

Boy was I wrong!
I warmed up and began to increase the weight from 120. On the third round I did 153 pounds... It. Was. So. Difficult.

I moved up to 160... FAIL. Everything hurt so badly and I was so pissed off that I just cried & cried.

I was mad that I couldn't do it. I had the focus. I had the drive. WHY?? Why couldn't I just lift it?

The whole way home I asked myself these questions...
Talking down to myself... Yelling... Telling myself I should have pushed harder.
I should have done it anyway.

But the truth is, everyday won't be a good day. Some days will suck. Some days you'll suck.
That's just life. The important thing is, is trying your best. Showing up even when you don't want to. All of the most successful people failed at some point in their life.